No more Mr. Nice Guy

It’s far too common that in today’s society men are still lead to believe that being a nice guy and being subservient to women, showering them with an abundance of attention, gifts and affection is what is best for keeping or attracting women.

The influence of movies in which the nice guy gets the girl in the end are partly responsible for this epidemic. For example the movie The Nutty Professor… where fat guy Sherman Clump lusts over this hot chick while the entire time she is attracted to his slimmer, jerk alter ego “Buddy Love”. The hot chick (sorry I forget her name) spends most her time with Sherman complaining about Buddy and how he confuses her, yet she obviously finds him intriguing and exciting to be around. Sherman being the typical nice guy offers his advice and a shoulder to cry on while she gives him a peck on the cheek and telling him how great a FRIEND he is… then she goes out later that night and rides Buddy like a rodeo bull (they cut that part out the movie).

A common trait amongst guys suffering from “Nice Guy Syndrome” is that they are AFRAID to talk about intimate subjects let alone escalate and advance into sexual realms with women, as if they assume the woman is going to be repulsed or disgusted by the mere mention of anything erotic. And so the nice guy tries to escalate into a relationship with a woman by trying to prove his worth by being trustworthy, loyal, generous, and giving unwarranted affection and attention to her, all the stuff fairytales are made of. Unfortunately for the nice guy that’s not how real world attraction works when seducing women. It’s because of this the nice guy is often left self-loathing and confused when the girl he admires so much moves away from him and into the arms of a guy who is more of a challenge; The self-confident man, the guy with something going for him and the ability to seduce women with ease… The Alpha Male. The Alpha Male doesn’t bore her, he excites her… he makes her work for his attention and she is rewarded by being around him as she recognises he is a man of worth because he values himself and doesn’t put her on a pedestal!

If you know you’re a nice guy here's some tips of what to do and what not to do to become The Alpha Male:

STOP spending your money on her taking her to dinner and picking up the bill every time, don’t buy her gifts… don’t buy her anything. Money spent on her could be spent on you upping your status. If you need to pay for her time then it’s not working.

DON’T give her the power of calling the shots. Stop letting her have the power to decide where and when she will see you if she chooses to at all. Women want to be lead. They want a guy who is decisive. By giving her the power you are changing the natural order of things and she will see you as weak, and a walk over… this is not attractive.

HAVE self-confidence. Relax in her company and don’t attempt to jump through hoops to impress her or try to validate yourself as if you are auditioning for a role. Being confident and relaxed is a trait Alpha Males possess that radiates and aura of masculinity and dominance.

DON’T be afraid to say no. Rarely do people value something that comes easy, this is especially particular to women and guys that turn them on. If you are busy or made plans and she decides she wants to see you, don’t drop everything to see her, let her know you have plans and arrange a time for when YOU are free. Don’t let her dictate the pace or call the shots. Be in control.

DON’T be predictable! Forget what your mother told you about how to act on dates or what you see in romantic comedies Hollywood put out. Be fun to be around. Skip the fluff questions and add a little random humour to the date, show you like to have fun and you are an exciting and spontaneous guy. Not saying to act like a clown or try hard but when you are relaxed and enjoying yourself you should find it a lot easier to open up and have some fun

Untill next time,

Eros