Win Friends and Influence People

Many people believe that you have to have some kind of approach in order to be successful. Things like being extroverted and the life of the party are considered important in order to get your pick of the ladies. While this may work for some people, the truth is that all you need is the confidence to get what you want, and the ability to project that confidence in a way that gives you success. Once you have the confidence and the ability to show it, all you have to worry about is the style you will use to get the success you deserve.

One thing you have to realize is that it is much easier for extroverts to meet new people than it is for introverts to do the same. Outgoing people are much more personable, love attention, and have a charm about them that makes people like them and like to be around them. Introverts are usually the ones that you see sitting by themselves in a crowded room while everyone around them is having fun. Even though all those outgoing extroverts are having fun, the turnaround is that they seem to be a bit more arrogant and harder to please than anyone else. The introvert, however, will seem to be the mysterious stranger that is much more confident watching everyone and would be a great person to have a conversation with.

The quiet and relaxed introvert can sit on the side lines while all those outgoing guys try their best to impress the women they are talking to. They will keep a conversation going for as long as they can, if the ladies are paying any attention to their bragging and yammering. When there is a lull in that conversation, a quick witted introvert can pounce with a biting reflex that turns the table on the extrovert in a heartbeat. This will usually make the conversation die away for the braggart as he shuffles off with his ruined confidence, all because of one quick remark timed perfectly.

While being the mysterious and quiet stranger isn’t always the best way to go, being the outgoing and outspoken guy may be just as damaging. The fact of the matter is it doesn’t matter which route you take to get to the store, as long as you get there. Whether you take the long route, talking the whole time, and enjoying the scenery, or you take the shortcuts, do more listening and have insightful remarks, it’s the finish line that you need to keep your eyes on.

The real focus should be on the relaxed confidence that you have deep inside you. This confidence can show up whether you are talking all the time or sitting by, listening. Being able to say something is not as important as the way it is said. If, for instance, you were walking down the street and saw two different guys, one leaning against a wall with a smile and his arms folded and one walking straight to you with his hand out, a bit jittery and talking too fast, which one would you prefer to hang out with? The same thing can be said with the guy that has a funny or interesting answer to everything and the guy that is sitting there with a slack jawed expression and refuses to make eye contact with anyone.

The thing to remember is that every guy out there knows the right things to do to get the girl. This knowledge may be buried deep down inside though and it can be a bit daunting to bring it up to the surface at times. Usually, most guys are just scared to change things up a bit. Every guy seems to think that they know everything there is to know about picking up women but the answer inside prevents them from being successful with it. If you give way to this answer inside, you will find that you can get the success you want and be able to change things up enough.

The best way to work around these feelings of not being able to get to that correct answer is to simply practice the changes you need to make. If you are more extroverted, you can practice thinking of the things you are going to say ahead of time. This gives you the ability to slow your mind down enough to seem a bit mysterious and introverted, which gives you the appearance you need to attract attention. It isn’t hard to stop for a second and listen either, but it’s a skill that you might have to work on a bit. If, however, you need to make a change that makes you more outgoing, this will need work. If you constantly find yourself too scared to even make an attempt at a conversation you will have to practice a lot more on what you are going to say.

The best thing to do is to act out or say whatever seems right at that moment. Whether it’s good or bad doesn’t matter. Even if you think everyone is going to hate you, or worse, laugh at you, just do it. You might end up finding out that there was more than one person there with you that wanted to do or say the exact same thing and they froze.  Most importantly, carry your confidence where everyone can see it. You need to speak up so that everyone can hear you when you talk. If you don’t, they will all think you have nothing important to say and will more than likely ignore you. You need to practice these things so that your confidence will reign supreme no matter what the circumstances call for. This is the key for you gaining your success in everything you need.

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Quick-fire Way of Building Social Value

One of the best ways of gaining social value is through pre-planned stories and routines that you can use during a conversation. By using these, you are showing the girl that you are someone she can trust and have some fun with, and not just another guy in a bar or club hitting on her. You need to work these routines out ahead of time so that you won’t be struggling to come up with something witty to say. It’s difficult to chat a girl up in a club, with all the people and the music and, of course, the alcohol. Because of this you need to have your lines worked out ahead of time so that you aren’t worried about making a fool of yourself by saying something stupid and turning her off.

The first thing you need to do is work in some witty little conversation starters so that you can be at the ready when the time arises. These can be simple little quips and questions that turn into something that has her laughing and holding on to your arm by the time you are finished. The following examples will give you some kind of idea of what you need to work on:

Example 1:

Stalking Ex

You: Could I ask for your opinion on something? My Ex seems to be stalking me, lately. I think she is trying to get me back but I need someone with a more adventurous side. Just the other day I saw her standing across the street just staring at me. She has even lost weight and gotten a boob job. I think it’s to impress me or something, but I don’t want to be with someone just because of their looks.

Girls: Wow, that is kind of weird, but at least you have some standards, unlike some other guys we know.

You: Yeah, standards mean a lot to me. So which one of you girls is the most adventurous?

This is a simple opening that tells the girls you are single and looking for someone to have some fun with. But you shouldn’t overdramatize the stalking Ex too much or you might scare them off.

Example 2:

Psychic Reading

You: I bet I can guess how you know each other.

Girls: Oh really? Are you psychic or something?

You: Yep. I’m getting that sister type vibe. Are you girls really close sisters?

Girls: No, we aren’t related at all.

You: Then you must be really close friends that feel like sisters.

Girls: Hey, that’s right! You ARE psychic.

You: Imagine what I could tell you about yourself by reading your palm.

This is a great way of opening a conversation, and getting to touch a girl, all at the same time. You can usually fake your way through the palm reading thing by focusing on things like long life, and huge sexual appetite or something similar.

Example 3:

Guy’s and Earrings.

You: What do you girls think of guys that have earrings in both ears? My friend has them and it seems like he has women clinging all over him whenever we go out. Could it be because of the earrings?

Girls: Some guys do look really sexy when they have both ears pierced.

You: Well, then, that settles it. I’m going to go out and get my ears pierced. Well, at least one of them anyway.

This is a good way of getting information about the type of guys that the girls like. They may see guys with earrings as a bit on the wild side. They may also let you in on some secret information if they start talking about body piercing and tattoos. In fact, there is a good chance that this conversation can go all the way to at least one of them showing you what they have pierced or tattooed if you play it right.

Example 4:

Recruiting for a Band

You: A friend and I were thinking about starting a band. Would any of you like to audition to be singers?

Girls: I can sing and my friend, here, can play the guitar.

You: Great, we can use another guitar for harmonies, and you would make a great backup singer. Can you dance while you sing?

Girls: Yeah, I think I can dance and sing at the same time.

You: Why don’t you show me some moves real quick?

Girls: Ok.

You: That was pretty good. But you know that it’s a lot of hard work, not just partying all the time right?

Girls: What do you mean?

You: Well, you have to decide which one of you is going to be doing my laundry for me and which one is going to be cleaning up the practice room.

Girls: We don’t think so.

You: Ok, then. You’re both fired, but you can be our number one groupies.

This conversation starter allows you to get the girls into a nice fantasy role-play. You can keep going with this as long as they are still into it. You can even go as far as having them help come up with the name of the band and what kind of music they want to play. This gives you a lot of insight into the types of things they like doing.

Example 5:

Sisters Birthday

You: I am having an issue here. My little sister’s birthday is coming in a few days and I have no idea what to get her.

Girls: What kind of things is she into?

You: Well, I know she likes stuffed bears. She has a whole collection of them. But I kind of feel that she is getting too old for another stuffed animal. What kinds of things were you into when you were younger?

This is a good way of having the girls feel like you are the nice older brother and to find out what kinds of things they were into when they were younger. Being able to get information like this is a key to making that bond with a girl even stronger.

Example 6:

Kick start with a Joke

You: Are you aware that only 5% of women sing in the shower?

Girl: Really?

You: Yep. And the 95% that don’t sing masturbate.

Girl: No, they don’t.

You: They sure do. And do you know what the 5% of women sing while they are in the shower?

Girl: No. What do they sing?

You: Guess you are in that 95%, then, huh?

This is a great opener to show a girl you have a sense of humor. Most of the time, girls will fall for the joke aspect before anything else, especially if they are out having fun with their friends. All of these openers should give you a bit of insight into the girls you are talking to and the self-confidence to make up your own lines and try them out.

Using Accelerators

While you are running through these routines, be sure to use some kind of accelerators to bring the conclusions more toward where you want them to be. Doing things like touching their arms will make it more personal for them, the sense of touch being as strong as it is. You should also keep the pace of the routine going fast. Don’t wait for the girl to continue the conversation. Instead, just move on to the next routine and see what happens. Because of this fast paced hit, you need to have a few of these worked out ahead of time to make it easier on you.

If you keep firing them out, eventually you are going to hit on one that is going to grab her full attention and give it all to you. If you let a woman talk about her opinion on everything, there will be a time in the conversation where you are going to get real bored, real fast. Don’t worry about upsetting her by changing the subject of the conversation. Just go with the next routine and try to steer the conversation to the things you want to talk about.

When you first start out, you are going to want to have a couple of these routines ready at a moment’s notice. You should be able to stack them fairly easily, this allows you to get her attention, steer the conversation, and end up taking her home by the end of the night. Once you get familiar with these routines, try making some of your own up. Don’t worry about them sounding dumb. Just practice until you get them sounding right and you will be the life of the party the next time you go out.

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